Gift 19 – Be the Bigger Man

Posted on May 5, 2014 by BryantRuss under Posts, Uncategorized

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill

I’ve learned that being the bigger man almost always means being the smaller man.

Culture says that manliness = bravado. Never back down, never surrender. Win at all cost. Get even. Give them a piece of your mind. Have the last laugh.

But son, true strength is not shown in domination, destruction, power, or supremacy. I’m reminded of this in the movie 42 when Jackie Robinson asks Brach Rickey, “You want a player who doesn’t have the guts to fight back?” and Rickey responds, “No. I want a player who’s got the guts not to fight back.”

Though this kind of strength often looks like weakness, it contains the secret power of restoration, healing, and change. This kind of strength has the power to bury cycles of revenge that might otherwise go on forever.

When it comes to unproductive arguments and destructive competitions, this means raising the white flag. When it comes to foolish feuds at school, in the workplace, at church, and at home, this means apologizing in order to restore relationships. When it comes to battles of pride and ego, it means humbling yourself to step out of the ring.

When being the bigger man feels impossible, remember that true strength is having the power to call twelve legions of angels to your side, but instead staying quiet while the proud line up and spit in your face one at a time. Remember, too, that this kind of death contains resurrection power.

Live in this strength and you’ll know the power of Jesus, the biggest smallest man who ever lived.

My First Tea Party

Posted on May 4, 2014 by BryantRuss under Uncategorized

I had the wonderful privilege of speaking at Lansing Christian’s Mother Daughter Tea. When preparing, I decided that since I am not a mother or a daughter (surprise, surprise) I would write a letter for a daughter I might have someday that I could read at the event. The following words are not just for my future daughter, but also for these terrific young ladies who have so much ahead of them. Congratulations!

Dear Daughter,

There are plenty of ways in which men and women aren’t all that different. When it comes to brokenness, I find that all people have more in common than we sometimes pretend. Though we often face different cultural demands, and combat distinct styles of social pressure, men and women alike are haunted by the same question. The question directing all decisions of what to buy, how to dress, how to talk and act and pretend, the question I’m asking as I try my hair one way then another, or as dress like this Monday and then like this on Tuesday, or even as I ponder future decisions of what to drive, where to live, what to do with my life; the unanswered question that shrewdly influences almost every single thing I do is this: WHO AM I?

I have the incurable tendency of going back to my insecurities day after day. Each morning I am inclined to crawl into my old skin of self-consciousness, self-centeredness, and even self-contempt. This fragility I know all too intimately manifest in different ways in different people. For some it means constant mirror checking, for others it looks like the frantic pursuit of success, others manage the hurt by going time and time again to others for confirmation, endorsement, validation of the lie that I have it all together, that I am what I appear to be. But the truth is, I am wounded. I am broken. I am looking for something and don’t know where to find it.

Oh but there is a remedy.

Do you remember the story of the Greek warrior Achilles? He was nearly invincible in battle. No one could scratch him from the hairs on the top of his head to the skin on the tips of his toes…except of course, for that vulnerable heel. This was his one shortcoming—the very weakness that led to his downfall when an arrow almost aimlessly struck him in just the right place. But do you remember why the heel was the weakness of Achilles? The story goes that when he was just a baby, Achilles’ mother, dipped her son into the magical River Styx to make him immortal. The only part of him that was not touched by the water was, of course, the heel by which his mother held him.

Daughter, I know of a river that makes old things new, that makes impossibly broken things whole again. There is a river that washes clean and restores life. This river is the love of God. Like Achilles, those whose hearts are bathed in the rush of this water will be strong, while those places in your life that go untouched by the powerful current will sprout weakness and insecurity. The most important thing I can say to you is this: immerse yourself in this river every day. Submerge, plunge, cannon ball into it so that every inch of your soul is dripping with God’s love for you. Soak in this love and it will become your identity. Soon it will well up and spill over, flowing through you making rivers in the wasteland of this broken world.

So never let it out of your sight. Take your coffee with it each morning. Christ’s perfect love drives out fear, it drives out jealousy, it drives out distrust, envy, vanity, judgmental thoughts, poor attitudes, self-absorbedness. Perfect love drives out impatience, gossip, the fear of what others think, doubts about God’s heart, terror of the past, worries of the future. There may be many locked doors in your heart, but God’s perfect “I love you” is the Master Key that unlocks them all and lets in the fresh air of freedom. God’s love is so effective, so powerful, so practical, and so incredibly applicable because it always addresses the heart, the deeper reasons behind our actions. Love changes everything. In fact, I have found that the extent to which I still sin is an exact measurement of the extent to which I have yet to receive God’s love.

Sin germinates in hearts that distrust God’s love. You see the first sin wasn’t eating a fruit in the garden of Eden, it was doubting the loving trustworthiness of God! The serpent’s whole victory was in distorting Eve’s perception of God’s heart. The same is true of the second sin. Yes, Cain murdered his brother Abel, but only after he’d been corrupted by jealousy because Abel had offered a better sacrifice. And why hadn’t Cain offered an acceptable sacrifice? Why did he hold back? Could it be that he didn’t trust the good heart of God? That he couldn’t offer God the best of his crops for fear that God’s provision wouldn’t be enough? Could it be that in his heart of hearts Cain refused to believe that God is love?

You see, the heart that trusts this love despite the Enemy’s attempt to sell you a lie, that heart will be made perfect in love and will have no room for evil. As one authors says, “Nothing you will ever do could make God love you more than he does right now: not greater achievement, not greater beauty, not wider recognition, not even greater levels of spirituality and obedience. Nothing you have ever done could make God love you any less: not any sin, not any failure, not any guilt, not any regret.”

My daughter, put plainly, you are stuck in the love of God. And though your disbelieving heart will sometimes contend that you are unlovable, and though you may, in low times, be so intimately aware of your shortcomings—things you’ve thought, things you’ve done, things you’ve been—you must remember that these evidences have been tossed from God’s courthouse, that the verdict has been decided and the jury is unanimous, the judge has already slammed the gavel and there will be no further argument: you are loved.

Clinging to this love will be your great strength. For out of the soil of God’s perfect love grows confidence, kindness, joy, true beauty, life, and all other good things.

I know who you are. God has given me the privilege of experiencing just a little bit of his heart for you. And you, my dear daughter, are loved.

Gift 18 – Relatively Speaking

Posted on April 13, 2014 by BryantRuss under Posts, Uncategorized

Einstein was right: everything is relative.

You see, I’ve always thought of Piper as a wild and bad dog. I think this when, out of all the magazines, he finds and destroys the one called “Family Dog” as though he knows our secret plans to civilize him and won’t have any of it. Or when I hold his face by the hole in the wall that he’s eaten for the third time and sternly say, “bad dog!” while he wags his tail. Or when I come home from work to find him sitting in my chair and he looks at me insolently as if to say, “Um, can I help you?”

I used to think these things about Piper, that is until I saw a picture my friend posted on facebook (right). My friend’s dog saw a squirrel outside, and knowing the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, bolted right through the window to catch his quarry. Instead of getting the squirrel he got 9 stiches in his nose.

After seeing this picture I thought to myself, Piper isn’t so bad after all. Because, of course, the badness of dogs is relative.

Everything is relative if you think about it.

You might be 6’2, but you still won’t feel tall standing next to Shaq.

You might consider yourself fast, but not when racing Usain Bolt.

You might think you’re rich, but not when walking in Bill Gate’s neighborhood. On the other hand, you might think you’re poor, but probably not when visiting a developing nation. It’s all relative.

I think this is why New Testament authors constantly remind early Christians to keep their eyes on Jesus. We humans have the tendency to complain—this happens when you compare yourself with someone on the more “desirable” end of the spectrum; when you see that you’re not as popular as _____________, or as well paid as ______________, or as talented as _____________, or as clearly understood as ______________. Poisons such as jealousy, envy, gossip, scorn, discontentment, and dissatisfaction all bubble up from this toxic spring of comparison.

But, in reminding believers of Jesus’ own experiences, the Apostle Paul points us all the way to the other end of the spectrum. Look at Jesus, he says. You might want to complain about the crappy day you’re having, but when you run into a friend whose house recently burned down, you’d feel pretty stupid grumbling about a broken dishwasher. Likewise, any unfair, or difficult, or upsetting situation I find myself in quickly seems more than bearable in comparison with all that Jesus endured on my behalf.

I often catch myself saying things like, “But that’s not fair!” “I don’t deserve this!” “This is ridiculous!” Even in marriage I am often all too concerned with what I think is “fair.” “I did the dishes last night, it’s your turn.” “You want me to run to Sam’s Club? I was at work all day!” etc. And yet, my logic becomes embarrassing and laughable when I consider Jesus surrendering his rights—all that he really did deserve—to pursue a cross on our behalf. What complaints slipped from his lips as he surrendered to the Father’s will? Did he so much as grumble as He set his face toward Jerusalem? Or as he was mocked and spat upon? Or as he was brutally murdered in the greatest act of injustice the world has ever seen?

And here I am complaining…about Sam’s Club?

The purpose of looking to Jesus’ suffering isn’t so that you feel like a horrible person whenever you want to complain. Nor is it the purpose to trivialize the truly difficult and sorrowful things going on in our lives—not at all. The point is to understand the depth of Christ’s selfless character and to be shaped by His good heart, remembering that we’ve actually been given more than we deserve.

Do this, son, and instead of being filled with jealousy or discontentment you will come alive with gratitude, joy, and a deeper love for Christ.

Bigger Than Our Failures (by Tony Pyle)

Posted on April 4, 2014 by BryantRuss under Guest Writers

Tony Pyle is a stud. He became a welcome addition to our family a few years ago when he married my cousin Danielle. For me, one of the hardest parts about moving away from Lansing was missing out on our bi-weekly Biggby meetings (I still miss it!). Tony is an amazing leader, mentor, and friend. Enjoy his wise words.

Future Son,

“I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

Get used to hearing those statements from your dad.

For most of my life, my greatest fear had been the fear of failure. Failing in the tasks that I was given, in the game I was playing, or in the relationships I had. This fear continued in my life and shaped the ways I thought about work, rest, and decisions that I made.

Your life is going to be full of experiences and relationships, and I am eager for that life to begin. Danielle and I are so excited to be the ones that God has chosen to love you and lead you spiritually. We understand that the responsibility we have been entrusted with is a big one. And that is to “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

As your father, I am going to do my best to love you and encourage you as my son. To allow you to scrape your knees and get dirty. To let the tears run down your face when they need to. To have fun in the beautiful creation that God has given us. To live your life in passionate pursuit of the One who “formed and knitted you together” (Psalm 139:13).

I cannot tell you how excited I am for this day to begin! I feel as though God has blessed me with the experiences I have had in ministry to look forward to my time with you as my son.

But as your dad, I need you to know something.

My best will not be perfect.

More than anything, I wish I could be the perfect dad. To say all the right things at all the right moments that you need to hear it. To do all the things that would empower you as my son.

I have learned something really important in my life that I want you to know.

Jesus is bigger and better then our failures.

All of us fail. We miss the mark. We sin. Daily. And that is why we need Jesus.

Jesus was the only one to live a perfect life. To never fail. And Jesus chose to take our place on the Cross so that we could have a relationship with God. So that we can live or lives free of the fear of failure.

What did Jesus’ death free us from?

Obsessing about being the perfect dad. Worrying about how other people view me. Being consumed by comparing myself to others.

Know this son. I don’t expect perfection from you and I never will. You won’t be perfect as a son and I won’t be perfect as your dad. I understand that I may let you down sometimes. I may push you too hard or not hard enough. I may say one thing and then do another.

And it is in these moments….

“I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

My Favorite Place: The Great Outdoors (by Andrew Russ)

Posted on April 3, 2014 by BryantRuss under Guest Writers

My big brother Andrew is a mix between Tom Bombadil and Aragorn. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m trying to say two things. First, Andrew is more in-tune with creation than anyone I know. His ears are open to the words God wants to tell us about Himself through his world. Second, Andrew is an expert guide. Though he is ahead, he is always looking back to make sure I’m making it okay. Whether I have a gardening question, or am wondering how to find cheap airplane tickets, Andrew always has an answer and is willing to help. I’m grateful to him for writing this wonderful letter.

Little Drew on a 4-wheeler.

Son,
I’m going to share with you my favorite place in the whole wide world, my escape, the place where I go to recharge my battery… it’s the outdoors. I’m telling this to you because you’re probably going to need to escape a lot; as I write this story your sister Grace is 20 months old and your sister Autumn isn’t yet born but should be here in a couple of months. Which means at the very least you’re going to have 2 older sisters, if not more, and my boy you aren’t going to stand a chance! They’re probably going to want to dress you up and make you have tea parties with them, and play house with them and all sorts of other girly stuff and you’re going to need a place to escape to from time to time. So I want to share with you the place I go to escape: the great outdoors.

I’ve always said I think God gave me allergies because if I wasn’t allergic to things outdoors I’d never come inside. There’s just something about being outdoors in nature that I can never get enough of. Whether I’m following a deer trail seeing where it leads, or planting fruit trees in one of my orchards, or hanging a deer stand in anticipation of shooting a big buck that coming fall; as long as I’m outdoors in God’s creation I am happy and at peace.

Before I met your mother I used to live on my own in a house surrounded by over 200 acres of fields, woods and even swamps that our family owned. I had free range to manage it as I saw fit and every chance I got I spent working on any project I could think of to make the habitat better for wildlife. I hung tree stands, made trails through the woods with a bulldozer for better access to some of the more remote areas, made bedding areas for the deer and other wildlife, the list goes on and on. Your uncles would call me on a Saturday night to see what I was up to and 9 times out of 10 I’d be outdoors. They’d ask if I’d had dinner yet and I’d say, “Dinner!? What time is it? I had a granola bar for breakfast but I haven’t thought about going in for lunch yet.” To which they’d reply, “Drew it’s 8 o’clock at night! Aren’t you starving?” I’d be having so much fun outdoors I’d lose track of time and forget to eat!

My favorite time of day is in the late afternoon, as the sun’s setting and the cool evening air is starting to descend upon the land. The animals start coming out to feed as the daylight fades; it’s such an exciting time to watch the day end and the night arrive. Every night is slightly different from the last and you never know what you might see. The world just seems so much simpler when it’s just you alone in nature. It doesn’t matter what happened earlier in the day, when I’m alone outdoors all of my worries seem to disappear and I get lost in thought, wondering about things like “I wonder what kind of tree that is?” or “I wonder where this deer trail leads to?” or “I wonder if this will be the year when this tree I planted from a tiny seedling will produce its first crop of fruit?”

I want you to have a place like this where you can just get away from all the busyness of the world and be at peace in God’s creation. Genesis 2:15 says, “The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” In the beginning, when the world was still perfect and evil had not yet entered the world God gave man one task, “to work it (the land) and take care of it.” I would have loved to be Adam! Placed in this beautiful, unadulterated and pure garden with one simple task to take care of it—talk about perfect! It gets even better, God would come down to be with man at my favorite time of day, and go for a walk with him in the garden. How cool would that be to get to walk and talk with God in his beautiful perfect creation! Genesis 3:8 says “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day”.

This is why I want to share my favorite place with you and hope that you will enjoy it one day as much as I do. I pray that you may grow closer to God by seeing, smelling, hearing, touching, and even tasting God’s perfectness in his great outdoors. It is when I am outdoors in nature, when I don’t hear any cars or see any buildings, when I’m surrounded by nothing but God’s perfect creation that I feel closest to God. The busyness of life seems to stop when you’re in nature just witnessing the plants and animals doing what God created them to do, and by their doing what they were created to do bringing glory to God. So the next time your sisters are trying to get you to put a boa around your neck and have a tea party with them, politely decline their invitation and go outdoors instead and see what God’s trying to tell you through his creation.

Love,
Dad

Letter from a Brand New Dad (by Garrett Russ)

Posted on April 1, 2014 by BryantRuss under Guest Writers

My big brother Garrett Russ asked me not to write “some fruity intro.” or else he’d beat me up the next time he sees me. Though he almost certainly will beat me up the next time he sees me, I must say he is an incredible brother who has lived this letter’s advice countless times in protecting his own little brother.

Tough guys.

Son,

At this point in time there’s no way of knowing exactly how many brothers and sisters you’ll have. But no matter what kind of family God gives you, being the oldest son comes with a unique responsibility: protecting your siblings. When I’m not around, you are in charge of their safety and wellbeing. To give you a clear picture of what this looks like let me tell you a story from my own childhood.

When I was young, my mom and dad sent me to a summer camp with my older brother Drew. I had mixed feelings about this. On the one hand I was really looking forward to some of the cool activities at the camp—the blob, zipline and rifle range are every boy’s idea of a good time. But on the other hand I was pretty apprehensive about being away from my mom and dad for a week. I probably wouldn’t have even had the guts to go if my older brother wasn’t coming along with me. Our ages were just close enough that we could get placed in the same group of campers in the brand new wooden fort style cabins with him being one of the older campers and me one of the younger.

The first night was rough for me because I really missed your grandma and grandpa. I was pretty moody and kept to myself the whole night. My older brother knew what was eating at me but didn’t want to embarrass me so he kept telling everyone that I just felt a little sick and would be fine the next day. He knew it would just take me a little while to warm up to the camp and then I’d be having the time of my life. He was right, in a short time I was having so much fun I never wanted to leave.

One day all of us campers were mulling around in our two story cabin, waiting for our counselors to come pick us up so we could go play soccer. Drew and I were upstairs when I heard the rest of the guys making a lot of noise below. As I walked down the stairs I saw two kids wailing away at each other so I ran over to break up the fight. I separated the two hotheads, but as I was looking at the guy on my left, the guy on my right cold cocked me right in the nose. I hit the floor like a sack of bricks with blood gushing out like a fire hydrant.

At that point I think everyone in the cabin knew that a storm was about to break loose because I remember things going dead silent. That is until we heard Drew’s heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. He took one look at me before calmly walking over to the kid who was responsible for my crooked nose. I am not exaggerating one bit when I tell you that he picked that kid clean off of his feet by the scruff of his neck and pancaked his face against the crossbeam of the nearest bunk bed. It’s amazing the kid’s head didn’t come clean off. When he was finished flattening the poor guy’s facial features he dropped him in a heap on the floor and walked over to check on me.

We had to spend the rest of the afternoon mopping up blood off of the cabin floor instead of playing soccer, but everyone in that cabin learned a very important lesson: No one touches Drew’s little brother without the wrath of God descending upon him.

Now son, I’m not telling you to go out looking for trouble, but I am telling you not to shy away from it when it comes to protecting the ones you love. This isn’t about getting

Was Garrett wearing that outfit at camp? If so, I know why he got punched.

revenge or being violent, this is about loving and providing—after all, love always protects. Your future brothers and sisters will be counting on you to look out for them when I can’t and it’s very important to me that you step up to the challenge. Be the kind of man who everyone knows will fight tooth and nail in defense of his family. Be the kind of brother who’s sisters are treated with respect by every other guy in school because they know disrespect will not be tolerated. Be the kind of brother whose brothers are treated fairly because you’ve always dealt fairly with others.

Live your life in defense of the wellbeing of those you love and you will leave a lasting impression with everyone you meet. Don’t believe me? Well what if I told you that about 10 years after this story took place, Drew was a counselor at this same camp and one night heard his instructor telling the story of his own first summer counseling, where some knucklehead had decided to beat up the youngest kid in camp and in return had been absolutely pummeled by the kids’ older brother. You see, after all those years he instantly recognized Drew as the kid who’d spent his whole week at camp looking out for his little brother.

Drew earned the reputation of a protector every day as my older brother. Now go out and start earning yours.

Love,
Dad

P.S. Editors note: Gabriel Randy Russ was born today!

From Father to Son (by Derek Russ)

Posted on March 24, 2014 by BryantRuss under Guest Writers

Someone once said, “A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him.” There’s no one this describes better than my cousin Derek Russ.

Derek is passionate, full of courage, humble, and genuinely kind. He’s always been a few steps ahead, showing me the way to go (he is a little less than a year older than I am). I look up to him immensely and asked him to write a “Gift” to his son, Wyatt, knowing that his words and his heart would bless you, too.

Dear Wyatt,

I assume I was like most fathers when they hear that their first born was going to be a boy. I immediately jumped up and shouted, “yes” as I was overcome by a feeling of joy. My response may have made others think that I wouldn’t have been happy with a girl, which was definitely not the case. Having a boy, for me, meant an immense feeling of pride.

My mind immediately flooded with traditions passed down from my father; weekends at the cabin, coaching little league, basketball games and of course teaching you the numerous lessons that were taught to me while hunting in God’s outdoors. You see, being outside with your grandfather and uncles taught me to be a man that loves the Lord, as well as, strengthened my faith to withstand life’s greatest challenges. I had no idea that those same lessons were God’s way of preparing me for you.

The joy I felt soon turned to dismay when your mother and I were told that something was not right. You were measuring much too small for your age and the doctors appeared concerned. I was scared to death. Your mother and I ran through tests and procedures that eventually concluded that you weren’t “normal”, a word we’re constantly trying to define. You were diagnosed with a “Ring Chromosome 1,” a genetic disorder that was so rare that a prognosis could not be made. We were told that there were five other reported cases and that you were “not viable with life.” There was a good chance that you would not be born alive.

Your mother and I were overwhelmed…stunned…afraid and angry. How could this be happening? Why did this have to happen to you? We were no longer preparing ourselves for baseball games or hunting trips, girlfriends or driving cars… we were preparing ourselves for the possibility of losing you.

This is when I seemed to check out. Wyatt, I began to lose faith, I didn’t want to hope, I didn’t want to talk, but mostly I didn’t want to feel. In a strange way “facing the reality” meant keeping things realistic and listening to the doctor’s conclusions. I guess this is a typical response from us men, when we feel as though we can’t “fix” things we tend to ignore the problem. I became an expert at putting on a good face and saying the right things, but on the inside I was furious.

All of this news came during the fall and I spent much of my down time, as usual, out in the woods hunting. Only this time I wasn’t focused on the hunt, I wanted answers. I spent hours upon hours wrestling with God, crying out and begging for a solution to a Ring Chromosome 1. Over and over God continued to answer my unending questions with “Be still and know that I am God.” It seemed like He had a bigger plan for you and I was limiting my faith to a conclusion made by a doctor.

The fall came and went with you still making small gains. Your mom was told to count your kicks each day to make sure your heart was still beating. I don’t know how she made it through that, she is so strong. As we approached the end of January the time came for you to be born. After a day and a half of induced labor medication, your mother was scheduled for a C-section as your heart rate occasionally dropped. I prepared for the worse.

The moment they pulled you out of the womb I remember sitting there… starring, wondering if you were ok. Your mom couldn’t see a thing and asked “Derek, is he alive?” At that moment you let out the most wonderful cry I’ve ever heard and we were overjoyed. You were here. You had made it…now what? I wasn’t expecting this outcome, I didn’t plan for this, I prepared myself for the worst and there you were 4 pounds 3 oz. breathing room air and feeding like a champ. The strength you showed gave me back my feeling of hope and my feeling of pride.

You are two years old now and just over 10 lbs. You have so much patience and are one of the most content people I have ever known. Life continues to bring you challenges that you overcome with God’s grace. The experiences I once envisioned us doing together have drastically changed but new adventures have developed in their place. I no longer dream of homeruns or watching you shoot your first buck. I now pray for an opportunity to hear you speak or watch you take a single step. The only gift I’ve ever wanted to give you has been the one out of my control, the gift of Life.

You see Wyatt, you’ve taught me so much about the little joys life brings and have placed into perspective all the blessings I often take for granted. I’ve learned that being a father means to set aside my expectations, desires and wants, to truly understand and appreciate the role that God has entrusted to me. My job is to accept you as God has made you, love you as God has loved me and encourage you to find His perfect will for your life. I pray that God continues to bless you with many more years, days and unforgettable moments. I’ve been blessed to be your father and for that I am proud.

Love,
Dad

I know this article is supposed to be about me passing along a gift, so here it goes. I would like to pass this gift to the father’s reading this passage. I hope that you have an opportunity to see your son’s as I’ve seen mine. I hope that you witness their “imperfections,” their “flaws”, their “shortcomings,” and that when you do, you would display the same mercy, grace and humility that Christ has offered each of us. My initial expectations for Wyatt were performance based, selfish and honestly, shallow. Change your assumptions of what your son’s “should” accomplish and teach them to live a life that longs for an intimate relationship with God. Appreciate every moment you have together as you lead them towards the true “gift of life” that comes from knowing Christ and guide them towards eternal life.

Gift 17 – Hibernal Man Fires and the Like

Posted on March 17, 2014 by BryantRuss under Posts, Uncategorized

A “Hibernal Man Fire”—That’s what we called it.

Ingredients are as follows:

– 1 large circler pit dug out of the 3 feet of snow in our backyard.

– 1 bonfire in the middle of the clearing.

– 5 guys bundled in hats and coats gathered around the fire to read classic short stories.

– 1 full moon.

The guys and I had the idea for this “Hibernal Man Fire” while sitting in the library at school. We had all been feeling a little stir-crazy as the bitter winter months drudged slowly on, so we decided to do something about it. Yes, some good stories told around a fire in defiance of February’s crappiness was exactly what was needed (Plus, who doesn’t love fire any time of the year?).

It is random outbursts of craziness and life such as our “Hibernal Man Fire” that turn into wonderful traditions. In fact, we’re hoping to have another short story/bonfire combo soon (stories on deck: “The Machine that Won the War”; “The Most Dangerous Game”; “By the Waters of Babylon”; “Leiningen vs. The Ants”; “Lamb to the Slaughter”; “The Man by the Window.”)

Traditions are so important because they are always relational—they are things we do together, usually to celebrate, or to remember, or to simply to keep life from becoming mundane. And frankly, our culture stinks at them. What do we do to celebrate important milestones?… hmm…get wasted on our 21st birthday?

Oh. Great.

Son, it’s up to us to create traditions that nurture good things, admirable things, life-giving things, Dangeruss things. Here are a few ideas…

1. A 15-year-old Adventure. This means that when you or any of your siblings turn 15, we’ll plan a weeklong trip in the wild. Maybe we’ll canoe down Michigan’s Jordan River, or hike the Porcupine Mountains in the Upper Peninsula, or explore South Manitou Island, but wherever we end up going you can count on being challenged—and you might just learn a thing or two about the outdoors (and maybe about yourself, too). We’ll bring a book (preferably one of the Chronicles of Narnia ☺) to read around the fire at night before crawling into our really cool Cabelas Alaskan Guide tent (which I’ve already purchased in anticipation of our camping adventures).

2. Birthday gifts. This may sound fairly typical, but let me explain. I learned a few years ago that expecting great gifts is a surefire way to have a disappointing and/or insignificant birthday. It is way more fun to give awesome gifts to the people you care about (or to complete strangers…either way). So, while your mom and I will still probably give you a present or two, your main gift will be $100 to spend any way you choose, as long as it’s for other people. Be creative. Be generous. Have fun. (But be careful, this is how our family ended up with our crazy dog, Piper).

3. It’s-Not-About-You Trip. I heard about my principal’s family doing this and definitely want to copy their idea. When you turn a certain age, your mom and I want to take you on a mission trip to spend a week serving others. It’s easy for young teens to think that the world revolves around them…but it doesn’t. In fact, your life isn’t even about you. Seeing the conditions in which so many live around the world will challenge you to examine our culture’s concepts of entitlement, materialism, and self-centeredness.

4. Cousin Olympics. Ever since we had our first Cousin Olympics almost ten years ago I’ve been excited to plan this annual extravaganza for the next generation. We’ll spend three days at grandpa and grandma’s competing in all kinds of team activities such as archery, board games, relay races, swimming, dodgeball, kayak races, and many more. Traditions like this contribute to strong and healthy friendships between family members—friendships that last a lifetime.

5. Rite of Passage. Your uncles and I have been talking about having some kind of ceremony when you reach a certain age. Here’s the general plan: you’ll have about three hours to round up as many downed limbs from the woods as possible to collect in a giant pile. When time’s up, we’ll light the mound on fire (safely, of course ☺) and spend the evening gathered around sharing stories and advice. Each adult will tell one “success” story and one “failure” story as a way of offering guidance and advice to the younger one(s). At the end of the night we’ll give a blessing and welcome the new adult into the tribe.

There are so many other great traditions I want to start with our family and friends that I don’t have space to write them all down here (Note: Please feel free to comment below with traditions you currently have or hope to start in the future).

Our culture has lost its sense of ritual; we no longer think of identity in terms of community, but only as individuals. Creating traditions is a way of bringing us back together, of shaping a culture that values people more than things, and of making memories with the people we love. A good tradition can be a mini-revolution of life and friendship, and all the other good things in life worth coming together to celebrate.

Gift 16 – Chasing Bigfoot

Posted on March 11, 2014 by BryantRuss under Favorites, Posts, Uncategorized

My friends and I are big fans of Finding Bigfoot, the highly acclaimed TV series in which a team of four professional “Squatch Hunters” tries to track down the legendary Bigfoot. On this show that has become popular due to its ridiculousness, the team utilizes thousands of dollars worth of high-tech night vision equipment along with their natural squatch sense to track down “evidence” in hopes of someday proving the existence of Bigfoot.

On one particular episode, the team’s leader and founder of BRFO (Bigfoot Research Field Organization—naturally), Matt Moneymaker stated that he has spent the last 25 years of his life looking for this elusive (or much more likely, non-existent) creature.

At this point my friends and I erupted into laughter. “Wait…did he just say he’s spent the last 25 years looking for Bigfoot? Imagine putting that on a job application!”

Photo credit: Image via Josh Crockett, http://monsterfaces.weebly.com

25 years. Wow. That’s a long time to be looking for anything, let alone a mythical ape-like mammal. In disbelief I said to my friends, “Imagine how hilariously tragic it’s going to be when this guy stand before Jesus, and Jesus says, ‘So Matt, how did you spend the life I gave you?’ and Matt replies, ‘Uh…Well, I spent my youth, my money, my passion, my energy, and a total of 25 years of my life looking for Bigfoot.” Again, we burst into laughter.

But after a few minutes I was struck by a convicting thought: Is whatever I’m looking for any less ridiculous? When it comes down to it, is running after wealth, or popularity, or pleasure, or fame, or comfort, or success any less absurd than running after Bigfoot?

Jesus said, “Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

In other words, in an attempt to make our lives significant by becoming rich, or beautiful, or well-liked, we’re actually on an endless and meaningless search for something we will never find. I look at Matt Moneymaker and think ‘what a silly and ridiculous way to spend your life!’ but is not Jesus saying the very same thing to those of us pursuing anything other than Him and His Kingdom? Think of all the time, energy, and resources that Matt Moneymaker has expended to find a creature that probably doesn’t even exist! And yet, perhaps it will be just as embarrassing to tell Jesus about all the time, energy, and resources I expended on my search to find significance and worth apart from Him. Imagine your hopeful grin as you stand before Jesus with a nice car, or a pile of money, or a thousand facebook friends, or whatever else we might chase after and realizing that you missed the point—you wasted your life.

And here’s the thing about the show Finding Bigfoot: they never actually find him (a more appropriate title would be Looking For Bigfoot). According to Jesus, the same goes for looking to save your life—you’ll never actually do it. The only way to save your life is in losing it to the One who died to save it.

Businesses and other organizations create mission statements as a way of defining and illuminating just what it is they are running after. This statement clarifies what the group is and what it’s all about, and also holds the organization accountable for everything that doesn’t fall under the umbrella of the mission. Jesus helps define the mission statement for the people of God when he is asked about the greatest commandment. He says, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Ask yourself, son, Is this what I’m chasing after today?

Gift 15 – An Oriented Life

Posted on March 10, 2014 by BryantRuss under Posts, Uncategorized

When you think of praying in a certain direction, you probably first think of the Islamic tradition of praying toward Mecca in the East, but actually, the Hebrew Bible tells of a more ancient “directional prayer.” 1 Kings 8 talks of people praying toward the newly built temple of the LORD in Jerusalem. But why? Even Solomon himself, the king who built the temple, knew that God is too great to be confined in a single place (“But will God really dwell on earth? The heavens, even the highest heaven, cannot contain you. How much less this temple I have built!”). So why pray facing it?

Perhaps facing a direction in prayer is a physical way of orienting our lives towards something other than ourselves. Facing the Temple was a bodily reminder that one’s life matters only in relation to God’s, like the long hand of a clock orbiting around a center point that gives it its rhythm and meaning; without which nothing makes sense.

I seem to need constant reminders that I am not the center. You’d think that being in ministry is a sure sign of a person’s life oriented toward God, but come to find out, it’s trickier than you’d think. In fact, ministry can all too easily become another means of orienting towards oneself—this happens when a person begins to love the talking more than the God one is talking about. It is a question I have to keep asking: What is the orientation of my life? What am I facing? What am I living for? What gives me purpose, meaning, and satisfaction?

Son, better learn early on that you are not the center. You are not the reason why all other things exist, but you know what, that’s actually good news. Life works best when you know that you exist only in relation to someone else. Like the lilies on our counter that move to face the sun throughout the day, I pray you too orient yourself toward the Source of Sustenance. My hope is for you to become a man who is directionally dependent on the Holy Presence of the Living God; that you aim your life wherever he is found.